my nieghbors are having a party, right now they are on i need a girl part one they just played still fly by how the hell cares and they played i need a girl part two just a few minutes ago. i say if you play both of those songs you play them in order or you dont play them at all. so i keep you updated on the music. but then it kinda made me think. if i were to have a party, i would so have a band play instead of a dj. just to piss off my neighbors who are having the party right now. i mean a band is great and so much more interactive and can be loud and piss off people. i mean were are the most quietest and a really loud show at my house would so be funny. now its just illegal, its 11pm and the music is still loud i cant wait for the cops. that reminds me i have to get the camera ready. now its that song that sound all not from here and produced by dr dre ah i dont care. anyways i did nothing if you want to know. you think i lie, well i watched a lot of tv and if you ask me tv can get boring. i went to hollywood video and got LOTR and the princess diraies and then we went on a look for thunderbird 6 the movie. still looking.

so it was not as bad as i thought. i had a beautiful dream that my parents smiled and told me that it was ok and that they would support me. then i woke up. last night i hod almost no sleep. i took some pills with caffene i guess and i didnt sleep at all. i woke up in 2 hour intervals. so im tired tonight. i went to my weekly journey to the grocery store. i like going there. anyways no big stand outs. there was this kid he was so funny. he was like "ha ha ha tomato" im like i want to know the joke. he was like 3 or 4. he was funny. he asked millions of questions and was like look an apple. would you eat it mom? and the apple was like a fake big smiling apple. it was great. then this is so random. i was in the cheese isle and this random kid was like you like my ring to me. and all i see is a plastic bug resting on a twisty tie from the fruit section. it was really cute i said i loved it and that i would go out and spend my allowance just to get one an hopefully start the trend to end all trends. then he left. it was fun. kinda refreshing. then i do nothing. linda came by picked up my skirt and then it was back to nothing. as you can see i dont really get out. but there is this show on the learning channel about teenagers. its really interesting. i found out that your legs stop growing when a girl start her period. and then our spins stop growing when they reach 14. i was screwed and fucked from the beginning. i will never grow. my legs stopped at 12 and my back at fourteen fuck. i never had time to grow. i also weight the same weight i did when i was in the 8th grade. damn i suck. you know what is played out, college. yeah also roomates. i hate talking to my parents about it and i hate looking for perspective roomates. played out.
if you get a chance watch the Teen Species on the learning channel. it is so interesting.

breath in breath out they are not as mad as you imagined so its kinda all good. in and out thats in eizelle now to look for an apartment and a part time job

mtv kills me! first of all i saw in interview with the strokes. but it was really and interview with moby the strokes were in the background. and then they started attacking each other. then i saw the hives. they walked in with like a letter on each of their shirts all spelling the hives. great. then the vines preformed with the hives like one after the other. ok. i saw what i wanted but it took so long. i had to watch all the crap. i saw the vine break shit so i was happy. then the channel was changed. i saw the thinderbirds like three times today. i was really happy b/c it was the thrilling conclusion to yesterdays show. im kinda pissed b.c i dont think my parents are going to pay for my application fee. so i guess ill be stuck in oxnard doing nothing but sitting on my fat ass doing nothing but watch my dreams go down the fucking drain. thanks you guys for all your support yeah i love you too.

again i am typing between commercials. the tv compells me to not type or do any internet stuff. if i give a late response to your im im watching tv. either tony hawk or something else is on. so i was oalying th easy stuff on the piano and i come across this song. i guess when i was little it was not at all funny but now when i look at it now its like, oh man is this song funny as hell. i was laughng on the piano for the longest time. heres the song:

52. I Love Little Pussy
i love little pussy,
her coat is so warm;
and if you dont hurt her,
shell do me no harm.

its a real song so dont look at me like that. its a "german folk song"

ok back to my day i wake up my mom leaves. i was about to ask her about the money but i didnt. im so scared b/c what if she says no. you know. it hurts me b/c i really want this i dont want to live in santa barbara thats where they want me to be. but i want to be in long beach. ahhhh the first problem was trying to get the application finished now its hey lets pay so the good college will actually give you a chance. ha. its gonna be hard to ask my mom . ha then i go on the computer of a short while but then the thunderbirds some on so i shut down to watch that. then i get a call from stepanie from school. i guess it was lunch and then she hung up. so thehhn i was alone again with the marionettes on the tv. its so amazing how great that show is. its just great. i cant wait to see the thrilling conclusion tomorrow. my favorite thunderbird is thunderbird 3. i think my licence plate is going to say TB 3 b/c its my favorite rocket and im the third born so it all works out. ah great show the thinderbirds. then i got to the exchange with my mom b/c my brothere had to get stuff for school. in the process i got new slip covers and 2 glue sticks. great. and then i went to the clothes section to get some clearence items but no i found out that there are so much better clothes in the little boys section anf its cheap. i was trying on this button up and then i look in a mirror and it looks so much like a girls shirt. it has all the cuts its great and it only $7.99. so im getting that as soon as i get some money. i really like that shirt and it was small in the littler boys shirts. then i go back home discover the funny song of the day. i had a deep thought moment. i was think about how life will be when everyone is really gone for school. its weird knowing that i wont see some peope till chirstmas. and i rememberr my sister. she had these close friends and like they would go out and stuff. they lost a lot of contact in college. they made new friends and then they now dont really talk. we all have to grow up one day i feel as if i still havent grown. i have nowhere to go yet it my parents want me to do what they want or they will basically disown me. so im kinda stuck.

im watching the kelly slater thing on espn2. its for his video game and such it cool. kinda in the same format as tony hawk tour show thing so its really enjoyable . fun times and all that good stuff. im typing beteen commercail breaks so i have to type as much as i can in like 2 minutes. then the thunderbirds is going to be on and i have to stop and watch that. im all alone too b/c my sister is sleeping, and my brother has school tomorrow. bummer. im all alone again. that reminds me im so scared to ask my mom for money for the application fee. ahh im scared that they will not support me if i got to long beach b/c they are not giving me a car. ah im scared hopefully ill do it tomorrow so i can actually go to college. (stop) ok show over type fast before thunderbrids start....too late oh but i already saw this onw so its all good. i wouldnt mind watching it again then olivers twist is on. but the thunderbirds is a great show. GREAT! i love international rescue. as you can tell by my mindless banter about tv, i did nothing today but watch tv. i put up some new posters on my wall but thats about it. then i ate. i woke up early to hear the hives on the radio, like an interview on kroq. it was just nick arson. i was hoping that they would play an acoustic song or something but sadly no. then i went back to sleep and then woke up to nobody home. they were at the golf course. then i watch tv. and then chicken run. i realize how much i appreciate the movie b/c it is clay and such. its the same way i appreciate the thunderbirds. its all marionettes. its great. nothing else

yesterday was rachelles goodbye dinner. it was faboulous. i had the spagetti with maranara sauce. it was good. it was a pretty heafty plate and i finished it. we were all wearing nice clothes. fun times. then a few of us went to rachelles house and watched out cold. predictable yet funny. anyways it was overall a great night of looking good and feeling full. and again i say good times. that and its probabaly one of the last good times rachelle will have in oxnard. i saw her picture thing too. then it made me think of my pictures so i got them developed today. they came out good. lots of pictures from the side and back. i drove my brother and his friend john on base. then i drove them home. for a while i did nothing b/c my mom my brother and and bunch my brothers friends were at the beach. me you ask. well i was sleeping on my fat ass and back and sometimes on my side till 12. i ran around the house. i was thinking about getting naked but i was like what if they come home. there is always a next time. hahaha. school is starting up i have to send away my money. i saw mrs philbrick and mrt decker today b/c i live right by the district thing. scarry. back to sunday i saw the movie hook for like the 400th time. you know rufio, yeah the filipino. he was the head of the lost boys. that moves the filipinos up on the movie scale. but then he dies, down the scale. on the tv they cut his last speach to peter pan, more down the scale. its sad really. back to today. the sting is on. its a really good movie but tony hawk tour is on so i dont know. then john drops off a really good pie. really good. oh man its sooo good. and if you dont know, robert earl is the man