hum, i have so much to write about its INSANE! i have to collect myself and then i will tell you everything.

ha ha did nothing today special stayed home and palyed the simes. tomrrow the next day (hopefully) and the day after ill be doing something so ill tell about it later no funny thoughts yet just wait....

hey it feels good to passing someting especially in the sunner. im i legal driver now. haha thats right i passed my drivers test! ah it feels good. it was my first try too. i guess jesse was right. i missed 13 though but eh i can drive myself and others b/c im old. the lady thought it was cool that i pulled over when the sirein was on even though it was not coming my way! my sister calls it ass kissing, i call it doing what you are supposed to. i dont know what to do now. dammit! i want to go and people from my church who read this must be laughing at me if amyone actually reads this right carl? anyways, i feel so much better now that i can drive myself. its a personal best for the gonzales family. it took my older sister 4 times, my other sister 2, my mom 2 and my dad 2 times. im the youngest and i got it on the first try. so edward has to beat it. he has to be 16 and pass on the first time.

The Completely Pointless Personality Quiz

there are going to be a lot of sacrafices made. hmm....i just dont know what though. like i want to go "hiking" but if i do that forfits my chance on going rafting. so that sucks. and you all know how much i want to go on this "hiking" trip. i am willing to not go one day and stay home for my mom so that she will she that im not always gone. that i do care about you b/c i was willing to give something up that was for me and i was willing to spend that day at home b/c you know what? i care. i care about what my parents think about me.

anyways thats my little depression..but who cares? eh.... on saturday i realized that eating breakfast is not a part of the plan. i ate breakfast for the first time on saturday and while i was at the store i so wanted to throw it up. it was weird. like it was not settling. but lunch was fine and so was dinner.my sister rented some videos and it was cool. i finally saw oceans eleven. it was good. i knew what was going to happen, like it was almost predictable. but either wayitw was it was good. lets see, i missed a party, i missed a show, i didnt go to the gutiar center, or the bookstore, and i didnt go to best buy. i watched tv b/c you know what? i do everything.

Horoscope (by astrocenter.com)
Today is not a day to pick a fight, dear Aries. Tune into your nurturing side and do something creative. Stick close to home and make some improvements in your living space. Put your passionate nature to use in something productive. Your emotions and actions will be strongly tied to each other, so make sure you are moving from a point of inner depth as opposed to superficiality, otherwise you may end up going somewhere that your heart doesn't really want to go.

this is so on the dot its not funny. i guess i finally accepted defeat. im not going anywhere. my parents are dumb but i love them. i hurts as i said. oh well. i dont know if i should.im am VERY thankful for the effort my youth leader put into trying to get me to go, at least she tried. i want to go but i guess i will always have the good times and i have to stop being selfish.

my dad called my brother a quitter and b/c he is quitting the summer thing that he is taking at the college. i dont think hes a quitter at all. he is a lot smarter than me and he made it through the golf thing. im the quitter. why cant they accept things? my parents have high expectations but they dont offer the proper support that is needed to pad the time when we want to give up. we find them in other place you could say. i look towards my sisters and brother. i might be harsh but its the way i see things in my house.