so im not mad. my problems were all solved in a grocery store of all places. anyways i got my id today i look so fat! so now im happy! now for the stuff that happened today, i woke up and then we wisked away to the base. @ mcdonalds there were these old ladies that spoke french. they were funny. at the id place i saw josh. but i love the way they redecorated that place. it could be a trend hang out if it wanted it to be. at the grocery store i got gummy bears. yea! i found out dishwalla is playing seabee days so im going to see them. i ate out with my family today and felt like a fat kid b/c it was all you can eat and i was dying. i saw lots of cute guys! LOTS! ahhh it was so great. i saw people from school but it was all good. i watched less tv today but i still watched some. i saw winning london holiday in the sun, the hives on tape and expn today. i love that show. they used music from thursday and J.E.W it was great.i think i found out what i want to do. i want to go into the fashion industry. not modeling or the FIDM route. i want to go to OCC or Orange Coast Community. its in coasta mesa or Orange County. it was funny too b/c it was the day after i saw the movie orange county. but it it totally what i want to do. it seems great now to tell my parents.... oh well

Horoscope (by astrocenter.com)
You will find that communication is the saving grace of the day today, dear Aries. If people don't know what you are thinking or feeling, you will find that you won't relate to them as well as you might otherwise. Take the first step when it comes to initiating a discussion that has been a long time coming. Perhaps you have avoided a certain subject with someone because you were afraid of conflict. Now is the time to talk about it.

funny how my horoscope has been on the ball...

anyways i plan to go into fashion get a job and go back to college to get a BA in graphic design. i think im not lost anymore! im so happy...

so my plans may be temporarly halted but i have two weeks to correct it. i didnt do anything wrong. ive been the good child and what do i get in return? nothing. i graduate and i get nothing. its seems as if all my hard work doesnt go rewarded. my brother on the other hand can get $300 or more club while i get NOTHING! currently i dont want to talk about b/c it really upsets me, but from what you are reading you can probably guess. im kinda, no REALLY upset! what pisses mr off is that my dad won talk to me about it. ahhhhhh it makes me mad thinking about it so i wont talk about it. yesterday it was pretty gloomy.but me, charisse, winona, joel, annie, jesse, and rachelle watched movies made drinks and had some fun. then i went home and was sad and then today my brother graduated from fremont and he went to an orientation for oxnard college. apparently hes taking classes there.whtever. i need a job! anyways the graduation was long and boring and lot of pictures were taken. you know the usual. tomorrow we are going out to dinner. sounds like fun! yeah good eats. i saw a bunch of people from school said hi. i need to get out! i think my horoscope speaks for me:

Horoscope (by astrocenter.com)
Today, dear Aries, your passion and desires will be very intense, almost extreme. This could mean that you emotionally overreact when someone triggers a soar spot. Your sexuality and your creativity will be especially high on a day like this, and you will enjoy everything that has to do with action. This is definitely not a day to stay home! So, go out and have fun!

yeah i think so

so last night i was looking through a lot of tthe old photo books, i was looking for something but i dont know what. it was strange. i was looking for something. anyways the hollywood film school email doesnt work so i used the one they emailed me back with. haha. i didnt watch as much tv as i should today but i guess thats a good thing. i drove to a lot of places. i realized the world all congregates at the post office. everytime i go there i know people. weird huh? i saw patrick some guy i knew from jr high and so people that graduated. the post office a city hang out? who knows

heres a copy of the letter i wrote to Hollywood Film School regarding our work as an extra:

To Whom It May Comcern:

My name is Eizelle Gonzales. I was an extra in the movie May Day which was filmed on July 21, 2001 in the PAL Gym or formally the Oxnard High School Gym in Oxnard, California. Me along with may others were extras in this film. We came at 11am and a few of us stayed till 10pm some of us till 1am. I was one of them. We were promised $50 to stay till 10pm or longer. Till this day I have not seen the money that you have promised me and all the others that stayed the extended hours, but I cannot speak for the others that were at the movie filming. It may be a little forward of me to ask of it now being it is almost a year later but, I feel that it is only right for me to ask because you promised. I know from a previous letter you sent me that the movie was not sold. You also said that you would send the letter soon and it has almost been a year. Unfortunatly, you asked if I had a list of the people who were extras, I don't. I only know one person because she lives near me but that's it. I do know the first names of a few people if that helps. I remember Tony, Griffin, and Eddie. They were from Thousand Oaks. But that's it. It probably didn't help much, but it's a start.

Thanks for taking the time to read my letter. I hope to hear from you soon. One more question, could i have a copy of the movie if that's not too much to ask? Thanks again.

Sincerely,
Eizelle Gonzales

so tv is thr existance of my already mundane life. i plan out what i am to watch at certain times like my 11:35pm -1:00am is taken by late night programming (leno/letterman conan/kilborn) i have no life. people dont really call, i dont go out with the exception of the errands that i run with my mom. i went back to fremont today to see my brother get an award. i saw all my teachers and it was weird b/c they all look the same. i saw anthony bustillos there too. it was fun i guess. i am also going to my bros graduation. it should be fun i guess. today i saw the movie go. its really good. then i watched a lot of the nothing and then more nothing. its fun its vaction its all good! yeah so tomorrow i look forward to doing more nothing. my legs hurt b/c i have been sitting all day! its killing me!

so today kinda went by fast b/c i woke up ate a toaster pastry and then i watched some tv then i went on base. the security guard was quite nice about things. hes like do you have your learners permit? so i reach and get it. they guy was like the easiest place to get your licence is santa paula. im like really. he askes my mom how im doing she says good. i guess b/c i parked in the middle. yes! then i wnet home and ate a burrito. then i fell asleep. who knows why i mean i fall asleep of stupid reasons. then i do nothing and take a shower. thats pretty much my day. its eat sleep shower ocasionally. watch tv all day. i saw the action sports and music awards, my fair lady, live at much music and trl. fun stuff. i have a pretty boring life. i do nothing. i need to call the robecks. my mom asked me if i want to go the motherland (philippines) im like sure why not i havent been anywhere and someone told me to travel so i say why the hell not. so i dont know b/c she said she wants me to go with a sister, but they all have jobs so ill aske my dad on wednesday. so that was probably the most interesting fact. im happy for a certain friend too. so its been and intersting week so far... im thinking yeah for the travel. i NEED to get out and see the world. i NEED to do something. im kinda feeling like im not significant b.c im not going to college and i know i should feel that way. people succeed in thier own ways. like that avirl lavegine she dropped out of high school at the 11th grade. usually i find that very disturbing, but i find that very admirable. you my be looking at me like what? but think about it, she found her calling at such a young age and she knew knew what she wanted so she persued it. unlike me i dont know so i have to go out and find it. it may be here in oxnard, or it could be in australia. or in san climemte. only God knows and i pray that he leads me to a path b/c right now im kinda lost. like the road less traveled by robert frost.

Two roads diverged in a yellow wood,
And sorry I could not travel both
And be one traveler, long I stood
And looked down one as far as I could
To where it bent in the undergrowth;

Then took the other, as just as fair,
And having perhaps the better claim,
Because it was grassy and wanted wear;
Though as for that the passing there
Had worn them really about the same,

And both that morning equally lay
In leaves no step had trodden black.
Oh, I kept the first for another day!
Yet knowing how way leads on to way,
I doubted if I should ever come back.

I shall be telling this with a sigh
Somewhere ages and ages hence:
Two roads diverged in a wood, and I--
I took the one less traveled by,
And that has made all the difference.

Robert Frost (1874 - 1963)

its kinda like that i guess. everyone i know is going to college and thats the road they feel to choose. i thought i would travel down one path but i didnt it just didnt work out that way. so im taking the path less traveled maybe it will work out but then again i could be on the streets so whatever. ah ah ah, the reason why im writing this is b/c my parents especially my dad is concerned about my future. while we were walking in the i wasw drawn to a sign that said career oppertunities in the pac sun window. he asked mr "your going to college right?" im like "sure why not" i know they want to best for me but i want the best for me too. so its hard. they asked me if i wanted to go to school in the motherland, i ask australia or at orange county. ha its summer so i shouldnt thik but eh, i always think, sometimes.

1. What is your full name?
Eizelle Cruz Gonzales
2. Backstreet Boys or *N Sync?
98 degrees
3. When was the last time you showered?
two days ago.
4. What color pants do you have on?
charcoal gray
5. What song are you listening to right now?
Mock Orange- Brake Lights On
6. What was the last thing you said?
"so i have to get my passport now?"
7. What is right next to you?
newspapers ventura college stuffs and cuesta college stuff a
8. what are the last 4 digits in your phone number?
0048
9. Random fact about yourself:
my period is about two weeks late and i have never had sex!...you want more random than that i dont know
10. If you were a crayon, what color would you be?
aqua red
11. Where do you want to go on your honeymoon?
Hmm...that would have to be a decision for me and my husband to make
12. Do you have a lava lamp?
nope
13. How many buddies do you have on your im?
around 100
14. How's the weather right now?
cloudy and sunny then cloudy
15. What did you do today?
woke up washed face, ate, watcha lot of tv, (pretty in pink, the diary of adam sandler again and then the expn action sports ans music awards), went on base, then ate some more now im here b/c bordom compells me
16. How long have you known the people you're sending
this to?
depends on who actually reads these things
17. Do you like the person that sent this to you?
hey if you know my email i like you!
18. How are you today?
feeling like a fat kid
19. How do you eat an Oreo?
magic?
20. Favorite CD of all time?
ah...who knows...the best of america or weezer pinkerton or the new phantom planet
21. Favorite thing about (yourself)?
i love everything about myself.
22. Hair color?
black/brown
23. Eye color?
brown
24. Height?
5-1 i think
25. Birthday?
april, 6 1984
26. Siblings and their ages?
Desiree 25, eidelyn 23, edward 13
27. What school do you attend?
the university of sydney australia
28. Do you have a significant other?
sadly no
29. What's the best advice someone has ever given to
you?
everybody (meaning me) should go out and travel and see the world or dont go into thing with high expectations what ever happens happens, or dont let life live you
30. Dream car?
a mini cooper
31. Have you ever won any special awards?
uh does student of the month count?
32. What do you want to be when you grow up?
a professional wakeboarder or the person who designs the bottoms of skate decks
33. Who are the funniest people that you know?
everyone has a funny quirk, but probably leslie
34. Favorite movies:
ah anything by kevin smith, say anything, pretty in pink, the breakfast club, 16 candles, the sandlot, ghost world, pecker, rushmore, the ice strom, cat on a hot tin roof, biloxi blues, moulin rouge there are so many
36. Favorite month?
either june or july or possilbly november b/c of the good surf
37. Favorite girls perfume?
either ralph or roxy
38. Favorite guys .cologne?
as long as they smell good
39. Do you like to dance?
sometimes if the music compells me
40. Are you too shy to ask someone out?
kinda on time at best buy i scream pretty boys in line 2!
41. Would you make the first move?
i dont know it depends on the situation
42. First child's name?
who knows
43. Do you like scary or happy movies better?
happy (gilmore)
44. Summer or winter?
spring
46. Do you have a crush?
of course! so many
47. Kisses or hugs?
sex
48. If you could change one thing about yourself?
hmm...maybe regulatre my periods so i dont have to worry that im having the immacualte child
49. Do you consider Cheerleading a sport?
yeah it is a sport
50. What is your favorite smell?
the smelll of oxnard on a good day
51. Any piercings?
my ears but i planning on stretching them
52. Any tattoos?
Not yet...
53. Where were you born?
Oxnard, Califirnia
54. Where have you lived?
Oxnard
55. Have you been in love?
not yet
56. Have you been to Africa?
i hope to
57. Do you snore?
not that i know of
58. Favorite food?
lumpia the vegetable kind
59. Favorite day?
friday or saturday
60. Favorite TV show?
greg the bunny, anything on skin-a-max, the sipmsons, diary, the naked chief or olivers twist (they are the same show) and tastemaker
61. Favorite restaurant?
benihanana's, pepe's
63. Any secret desires?
i want to be a pro wakeboarder that is sponsored, or i want to travel and be friends with really cool people no matter who you are
64. Last hospital visit?
a while ago
65. Favorite drink?
mountain dew, pepsi, sprite, orange juice, apple juice, h20, whatever
66. Favorite alcoholic drink?
ha i dont drink.
67. Last person you got an e-mail from?
who knows
68. Where would you max out your credit cards?
probably at white sands or pac sun or the vans store or five points, best buy, salzers, sports challet
69. What do you do when you get bored?
do surveys and such
72. Any best things in life?
are free, are spent with friends,
73. Do you want your friends to write back?
i guess
74. Who is least likely to respond?
i dont know respond?
75. Who is most likely to respond?
bored people but of course im posting this instead of sending
76. When is your bed time?
what is that?
77. What is your favorite thing to wear?
my lucky wrist band that i wear when i play acrade games but recently it grew on me, like it did four years ago
78. Favorite candy?
skittles or starburst
79. Favorite Cartoon?
spongebob squarepants, powerpuff girls, hey arnold, the simpsons
80. If you could be any animal what would it be?
a koala, kangaroo, or a wombat.
81. Any last comments?
what am i do do?

if you watch a movie watch The Endless Summer. good movie and i saw a jack jonhson video its great! i love it. its simple, its jack.

so today was fun. i wore a skirt to church and people were suprised. it was fun. then i went shopping and i wnated to buy shorts buy NO! i dont have and ID! damnit! so i look around at the magazines and talk to my friend jamar who works there. then i go home and do nothing and eat and then my sister asks me if i wanted to go to the esplanade to get some things. so i go. i first go to payless to look for shoes for my brother and we find nothing. then we go to tillys. i see my froend lawna doyle. it was fun seeing people that i havent seen in a while. so she has short hair now. and its amazing what you learn about people. but hey whatever makes you happy right? then i see my next future husband. he was a surfer with a curly bushy hair, anyways he had old man shoes. ive been wanting a pair of old man shoes for the longest! it was great! i love him! ill probably never see him again oh well, then i saw a bunch of boys at old navy and they were looking at me...but they were eh, only on was ok. then i go home my dad leaves and i stay home. no shoe for me. i dont know why but i didnt call jesse to see if he might want to go. but no. im a lame! so im at home who cares! right? im home. anyways if you want to see a good movie check out this:

murderous deception