Monday, June 24, 2002

so today kinda went by fast b/c i woke up ate a toaster pastry and then i watched some tv then i went on base. the security guard was quite nice about things. hes like do you have your learners permit? so i reach and get it. they guy was like the easiest place to get your licence is santa paula. im like really. he askes my mom how im doing she says good. i guess b/c i parked in the middle. yes! then i wnet home and ate a burrito. then i fell asleep. who knows why i mean i fall asleep of stupid reasons. then i do nothing and take a shower. thats pretty much my day. its eat sleep shower ocasionally. watch tv all day. i saw the action sports and music awards, my fair lady, live at much music and trl. fun stuff. i have a pretty boring life. i do nothing. i need to call the robecks. my mom asked me if i want to go the motherland (philippines) im like sure why not i havent been anywhere and someone told me to travel so i say why the hell not. so i dont know b/c she said she wants me to go with a sister, but they all have jobs so ill aske my dad on wednesday. so that was probably the most interesting fact. im happy for a certain friend too. so its been and intersting week so far... im thinking yeah for the travel. i NEED to get out and see the world. i NEED to do something. im kinda feeling like im not significant b.c im not going to college and i know i should feel that way. people succeed in thier own ways. like that avirl lavegine she dropped out of high school at the 11th grade. usually i find that very disturbing, but i find that very admirable. you my be looking at me like what? but think about it, she found her calling at such a young age and she knew knew what she wanted so she persued it. unlike me i dont know so i have to go out and find it. it may be here in oxnard, or it could be in australia. or in san climemte. only God knows and i pray that he leads me to a path b/c right now im kinda lost. like the road less traveled by robert frost.

Two roads diverged in a yellow wood,
And sorry I could not travel both
And be one traveler, long I stood
And looked down one as far as I could
To where it bent in the undergrowth;

Then took the other, as just as fair,
And having perhaps the better claim,
Because it was grassy and wanted wear;
Though as for that the passing there
Had worn them really about the same,

And both that morning equally lay
In leaves no step had trodden black.
Oh, I kept the first for another day!
Yet knowing how way leads on to way,
I doubted if I should ever come back.

I shall be telling this with a sigh
Somewhere ages and ages hence:
Two roads diverged in a wood, and I--
I took the one less traveled by,
And that has made all the difference.

Robert Frost (1874 - 1963)

its kinda like that i guess. everyone i know is going to college and thats the road they feel to choose. i thought i would travel down one path but i didnt it just didnt work out that way. so im taking the path less traveled maybe it will work out but then again i could be on the streets so whatever. ah ah ah, the reason why im writing this is b/c my parents especially my dad is concerned about my future. while we were walking in the i wasw drawn to a sign that said career oppertunities in the pac sun window. he asked mr "your going to college right?" im like "sure why not" i know they want to best for me but i want the best for me too. so its hard. they asked me if i wanted to go to school in the motherland, i ask australia or at orange county. ha its summer so i shouldnt thik but eh, i always think, sometimes.