today was babysitting night. but thats going to change. its moving to wednesday night. im thinking this is great b/c thursday is must see tv. its bad that i love the change in my schedule b/c of weekly tv programming. its a sad life i live. really today i woke up to a beautiful blazing sun and said i want to be in los angeles today. days like this remind me of the days of back when life was simple. go to school make fun of teachers, high school. but now for me life had gotten complicated. i dont do anything and it forces me to look back and live more in the past than i want to. i really want to get out of the past b/c at times i find myself thinking about it. like when i saw the sign by ace of base comes on i reminded of good times of singing in the car with friends. like while everyone else has moved on i fear that ill be the one left in the past. even thought i proceed into the future like everyone else does im still here like you left me. the only thing that has changed is that i know lots of useless thunderbird triva than one should know and i can make one mean ahi poke. yeah im that bored. i was watching fm nation on mtv today and it remeinded me of times when we would just drive around whit the radio and sing along. i think the only way to solve this slump of mine is to get a car. im scared to drive my moms b.c its her car not mine. if i only had a car to go places. the other solution to my slump is that i still have a stupid curfew. im waht 18 now and all growns up and i stil have to be in the house by stupid 11pm. i feel like im not old enought to do many things. i think that if i was offered the job of my dreams to travel around the world or just the united states as a tour journalist or whatever they wouldnt let me do it. like i would have to go to school. times like this i wish i was cameron crowe. he got to work of rolling stone and made a movie about it. i wish i could say stuff like when i was fifteen i was lliving out of a tour bus eating bread and water having the time of my life. but no i can say that when i was fifteen, i was in a biology lab honors class. i need to go out and grow b/c the only way i get out of the house is to walk the dog, sure i feel better about myself but i need to meet more people. llike i had a genius plan to try to sneak into the ventura theater but i dont think those plans will follow through b/c i dont have a car. oh well.
knowing that i live in a kick ass neighborhood makes me happy. today my across the street neighbor come over to borrow $2 from my mom and promises to give it back. i just thought it was cool that as neighbors we can trust each other to borrow money. even if it is $2. then while i was walking, my corner neighbor connie waves at me outside of the cul de sac. i felt so known.
at babysitting the dad called so the kida wanted to talk to him. so i give it to john the little boy and hes ltalking and then he was about to give the phone to his sister and then he said "oh yeah i wuv you dad" and then he kissses the phone. i was about to cry. kids like that make me want to have kids.it was so sweet and he did it again when his dad called again later that night.
go angels!